Keeping Up with the Past

I can clearly remember, with all five senses, the days I went over to my neighbor’s driveway to use their basketball goal after school. The feel of the ball, the smell of the rubber, the sight of the hoop against the sky, the sound of the ball hitting the pavement and bouncing off the goal, and the taste of the beads of sweat.

I guess I’m considered a Gen X-er but those labels don’t mean too much to me. I look more to the decade I mostly grew up in. Born in the 70s but raised mainly in the 80s I had the advantage and opportunity to grow up in a time before the internet, social media, and reality TV.

As kids, it was nearly impossible to keep us inside as we craved getting lost in the woods, riding our bikes, or playing a pick-up game of football or basketball. I remember my parents at some point getting a hand-me-down Atari game system. We would try it out for a few minutes and then get rather bored. Outside we went!

Now, I don’t want to come across as some old codger or Luddite, but there was just something simple about those days. Anything you did, things you interacted with, or people you talked to were right in front of you. Virtual, in those days, just meant it wasn’t real. We lived in a tangible world.

Everything is ephemeral

Don’t get me wrong or put me in a deep corner of extreme ideology. Not everything from the past is superior to the present. The 80s had its own set of issues; political, societal, financial, and not to mention medical among many many others. It’s just that today we have accelerated to such a degree that more and more of our tangible (and digital) lives are becoming more ephemeral. In a world that is trying to be more renewable, less consumable, and environmentally conscious, it seems that just as many things are more disposable than ever.

A few things in particular are our behaviors and habits. Our attention spans have drastically diminished. For example, it’s not uncommon to see lit-up screens at a movie theater (during the movie!). We just can’t be bored or even close to it. We view the act of being without our phones as if we’re underwater without oxygen. We feel naked, vulnerable, and out of touch all the while real-life, tangible experiences are right in front of us waiting for our attention.

But we will all agree how things have gotten a little ridiculous. Society needs to be friendlier, and more attentive. More “in the moment.” We’ll read and preach how we need to be more “mindful.” But we all simply shrug our shoulders and passively agree with each other – “Oh well, that’s just how it is.” Then we get back to scrolling.

The joy of delayed gratification

I vividly remember when a new album was about to be released. It was usually a Tuesday and I couldn’t wait to go to the store so I could buy the tape and eventually CD and listen to it on repeat over and over. I memorized lyrics and played them in my car to pump me up for my workouts.

When we ordered anything the overriding rule was that you had to wait four to six weeks for delivery. After taking photos on a trip we would travel to the pharmacy and drop off the rolls of film to get developed. Eventually, film development offered a 24-hour option. Now, that was fast back then.

We would get magazines in the mail, go to the bookstore, and have to be home to watch our favorite shows when they aired or recorded them.

The point isn’t to argue over how things happened at a slower pace years ago. It’s more about experiencing delayed gratification. Having to wait on things developed the skill of patience — which is in very short supply today. We valued what we had. If you only had 36 chances to take a photo, you made sure they were important or unique in a way. You didn’t want to waste your resources.

Sure, we would chomp at the bit to receive something in the mail, but we just knew that’s how it was. In our modern world, people get in a tizzy if there’s no WiFi. The modern world of speed, convenience, and comfort has permitted other aspects of human behavior in many negative ways. Yes, I am all for advances in medical care, but I’m not too worried about binge-watching any show at any time anywhere in the world. It’s just not a priority.

What we can do to bring it back

Whenever I get together with my friends we often mention how lucky we feel to have grown up in the time that we did. We consider ourselves to have experienced a great shift. The shift from a more analog world to a more digital one. We know what it’s like to learn exactly what the internet, email, and social media are. We experienced a great drive to shop online, same-day shipping, and ordering food from an app. But we never lost our skill in how to deal with the world when things don’t go our way. We still possess patience, thoroughness, and authenticity. We still value what we have, try not to be wasteful, and don’t hide behind keyboards when there’s an issue.

So what can we and others do to bring back a sense of control over our uber-eagerness? What can be done to slow down, value more of what you have, and appreciate the real world?

The answer isn’t some genius hack or secret technique. It’s simple things like leaving your phone in your car while you’re in the gym, looking people in the eye when you talk, calling instead of texting, keeping your phone in your pocket when eating, turning your phone on silent when in a meeting, and turning off notifications. The list could go on and on.

At the end of the day here is the truth: you know what you need to do. Be a good human, give your undivided attention, be in the real world, and be present. It’ll be tough at first, but you’ll learn to love it.

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